We live in a time when everything feels upside down. Changes to our society are happening so quickly that it feels like there is no stable platform anymore. Instead of standing on firm ground, with a purpose, we feel like we are standing on a bed of quicksand, with no clear path to safety. This feeling leads to anxiety, which is an all-too-common affliction these days.
      Nowadays, it seems that there are competing theories about how to live at every turn. We are plagued by a million choices and a million things to do.
    At the same time, society is manufacturing excuse after excuse to avoid personal responsibility for our behavior. There is always the standard one of blaming others for one’s mistakes. The culture of victimization is another. Another common excuse is that others are doing something and we must do the same thing to keep up with the pack.
    Perhaps it seems to you that the rapid changes, and the lack of personal responsibility are unrelated problems. They are tied together. Both of these situations create a sense of purposeless and drifting in the soul. They leave us feeling as though there are no foundations left in the world.
       I have had times in my life where everything seemed hopeless and bad. When I lived in those feelings, self-pity took over. I used excuses to justify behavior I knew was wrong. I felt like my skin was crawling, because I hated being inside of it.
     I believe there is one way forward to solve these twin dilemmas of modern living. It is to find spirituality, or if you prefer, faith.  Through faith, principles can be found which actually work! And with those principles, we find a power that can lift us above the fray of human problems and give us the strength to actually follow the principles faithfully. People of faith have a set of values that transcend and solve problems. We get a breather (by surrendering stress) and a better way.    
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      Hope. It is a necessary thing for us to hold onto. Whatever may be hurting and frustrating you today, you can hope that the problem goes away or at least hurts less down the road.
     It seems strange that there could be a negative side to hope. Some problems just don’t seem to improve no matter how hard you try.  That is the risky side to hope. Have you ever set your sights on the following week being a lot better only to have a solution fail to materialize? When that happens, your hope is dashed to pieces, making you feel worse than before. Resentment, bitterness and self-pity may harden your heart.
      If you have a loved one who is addicted to heroin or methamphetamine, then you know only too well about unfulfilled hopes. The life of an addict is a rollercoaster ride of promises, lies, despair, recovery and relapse. It feels like every rising wave of hope crashes against rocks on the shore and disappears.
    The answer isn’t to give up hoping. Instead, try not to pin your hopes on a specific outcome, timeframe or event.  
      I have been down this road with an addict. I wish I had an answer that could remove your hurt and mine. I don’t have one. What I do have is a stronger and more focused faith and hope. I haven’t proven to be very successful in shaping other people’s outcomes. I am learning to let go and let God do the work I cannot do.
     When I stop trying to control outcomes, I become aware of the role I am supposed to play to be helpful to others, not only the addict. I do my best and leave the rest. The person I love may get sober eventually, and I wish this with all my heart. Either way, I am going to live with serenity and purpose, secure in the knowledge I am doing my best. And, yes, no matter how many times my hope has been crushed, I am going to keep right on hoping.
         Do you have a story or a thought to share? I would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment and subscribe!